Parting thoughts...

My heart hurts.

What a joy this parish has been to work for. I cannot say that I have not been wounded and even feel beaten up because of the manner in which I was laid off from St. Jude. There are many things that one must question about why I was let go. Nevertheless, that is not for me to expound on here.

Rather, I want to focus on a few things: 1) I am profoundly struck by the many people who have stopped me this last week to offer their thanks for all that I have done and tried to do at this parish. One of the most striking was when an elder lady of our parish mentioned to me that "you have brought a real sense of a Catholic identity to this parish." WOW! If that is not a compliment, then I don't know what is. But when one stops to think about it, one begins to question: of what significance is this of the parish before I arrived, and of what after I leave? Now, please don't get me wrong. I am not so prideful as to think I have been some kind of savior, if anything has been done through me then I give all praise to Christ Jesus, My Lord and My God. However, why is it that lay people recognize that another layperson has done something to bring "being Catholic" back to the center of this parish?

Could it be that the unorthodox elements of this parish have been laboring and suppressing the practice of the Catholic Faith in some way? Perhaps. Could it be that the laicized priest who preceded me had suppressed the wonder and awe due to the Holy Catholic Faith since he himself had to have been jaded or at best felt guilty and hypocritical for teaching the demands of the Holy Catholic Faith, especially since he was charged not to when he was laicized (as I understand the official letters of discharge to say)? Perhaps. Its hard to say in the end. But perhaps the fact that the shackles of fear have emerged at our parish as our nation's economy continues to plummet, also might have something to do with it.

All I know is that I hope "Ben", who I understand to be my replacement in the Children's religious education, will help to restore some vigor and passion to the children's program for the sake of the parents who are coming to receive the Catholic Faith. So many of the people teaching Religious Education in our nation tend to ignore the Integrity and the Mystery of the Holy Catholic Faith, and prefer to focus on "social justice" or "social interaction." This, of course, was the philosophy also of Anthony Gallegos, and many people at this parish were disgusted (it seemed) by it because it was uncomfortable to actually be Catholic and to teach the teens to actually defend and live up to the challenging adventure that is the Holy Catholic Faith.

2) I am deeply impressed, given all that I have said above, by the people who have actually heard what I have been teaching for the past 5 years and taken it to heart (which has been nothing more than explaining what is in the Catechism or in the Sacred Tradition of the Catholic Church). Many of the RCIA participants and some parents have actually been moved to compunction - that is, to actually repent, to be restored to grace and to take up their cross and follow after the Lord Jesus. Unfortunately, with so much confusion and misinformation about the Catholic Faith out there, and at times having been taught here at St. Jude, one begins to see why Catholics are so half-hearted that they can't even understand why we should be OUTRAGED that our Pro-Abortion President is on the verge of receiving an award from our nation's premiere Catholic University. My hope is that in the near future, someone will also stand up and, whether from the pulpit or from the pews, help push to restore the proper worldview we should have as Catholics at the Parish of St. Jude.

This parish is entrusted to the Patron of Impossible Cases, and I have been struck how many people come from all over the city to pray to St. Jude here at our parish. How awesome that Fr. Schaffer wisely put up the relic of St. Jude for people to come and to storm heaven for their needs with the Apostle to whom Our Archbishop has continued to entrust us! May we all turn to heaven for our parish and especially for our parish leaders, who have many decisions to make and every one of them they will have to stand before the Gates of Hell to answer for why they did what they did, as one of my University professors used to point out us. For this reason, let us pray for them and for their desire to seek Christ above money, above popularity, and above their own way of doing things.

3) Every year, for the last 5 years - since I started on July 12th 2004, I have chosen a scripture verse to be the focus of the Catechetical Year. I haven't pushed it much on the parish, but more importantly I have tried to make a point of it to the catechists (though I don't know how I well I did with that), to the parents, and to the children (though this only in a general way). Not least of all of these, I always chose a scripture that spoke to my heart and where I was at, as this it seems to me is at the heart of a Catholic leader. Unless I have been living out my Catholic Faith, and continuing and enduring the struggle to be a disciple of Jesus, then I have no ability to witness to what this means. To put it another way, "One can not give what one does not have." Or to put it in Papal terms, so to speak, "Modern man listens more willing to witnesses than he does to teachers, and if he listens to teachers it is because they are witnesses."

My scripture verse for the year, which has allowed me to endure many things this year with peace and some solace, is this: "Indeed, I count EVERYTHING as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as [REFUSE], in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him (Phil 3:8-9)." Now, I have tried to live up to this all year. Not focusing on money, on popularity, on pleasure, but to focus entirely on Christ. Perhaps I have not lived up to this entirely, but I have tried. Nevertheless, what I find so heart-wrenching is the fact that I also have realized much more that in the Church, the faithful of Christ, lies the joys of working for the Church. There is a famous story of St. Lawrence the Deacon who was asked to bring the treasure of the Church before the Emperor, and he went away and came back with the poor people of Rome. He said, "Here is the treasure of the Church." Too true. My heart is saddened to leave Christ who is present in every parishioner of St. Jude, even those who reject him by holding positions contrary to our Holy Mother Church.

The Letter to the Hebrews is quite clear: "Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation which addresses you as sons? - "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage when you are punished by him. For the Lord disciplines him whom he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is for discipline that you have to endure. Fos is treating you as sons; for what son is there whom a father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons." As Catholics, we must learn the obedience that our Lord and Master learned in his humanity. This is what is left for us, all of us - from layperson, deacon, priest, bishop, or Pope. We must learn to find the joy of living in the discipline of Holy Mother Church; and by that I mean, trying to understand what her wisdom is in her teachings and not presuming we know better than her!

I have a heavy heart. Am I excited for my new job? Somewhat, and I am sure tomorrow on May 1st, the Feast of St. Joseph the Worker, I will be much more excited, when I realize I will soon have a job again. But for now, to live in this moment of my life, to enjoy the present as it should be enjoyed, my heart is heavy with sadness.

Today is also the Feast of St. Pius V, who established the so-called "Tridentine" Mass or what we call today "the Extraordinary Form" of the Mass or even more popularly "the Old Latin mass" as valid in perpetuity. I find that somehow fitting for my last day at St. Jude. I have been told, through the grapevine, that someone had mentioned how they thought that I was laid off from this parish because I was "too Catholic." I don't know about that, but it is comforting to know that the Church will carry on in perpetuity, regardless of what happens at this parish, there will always be a Catholic Church until the end of time. The complimentary question, which has been the question I have been about the business of getting people to answer in thier own lives in my time here at St. Jude, is whether we will choose to remain Catholics until the end of each of our time on earth.

I pray, as you have endured this last post, that you dear reader will find that joy and the comfort that allows you also to endure. May you be hidden in and defended by the prayers of our foster-father and the Universal Patron of the Holy Catholic Church, St. Joseph, the Terror of Demons. If you would like to follow my adventures after tomorrow I invite you to keep an eye on my new Website and Blog that will eventually be on there: http://www.terrorofdemons.com

With every hope for you to be spiritual enriched and to find great comfort in losing everything that you may find Christ, I remain yours in Christ,

The (former) Director of RE & RCIA at St. Jude Catholic Church (2004-2009)